cyanide and happiness

Cyanide and Happiness, a daily webcomic
Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Sunday, November 14, 2010

LEWES
Turbine Sunset
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Possible Postcard Pic.... someday print and frame
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Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Frankenmuth

 

Me and Bri in Frankenmuth.
Steve took the picture.
I like how the sidewalk looks like tiles
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Friday, August 6, 2010

Thursday, July 15, 2010

The Heart of the Matter

I got the call today, I didn't wanna hear
But I knew that it would come
An old, true friend of ours was talkin' on the phone
She said you found someone
And I thought of all the bad luck, and the struggles we went through
And how I lost me and you lost you
What are those voices outside love's open door
Make us throw off our contentment and beg for something more?


I'm learning to live without you now
But I miss you sometimes
The more I know, the less I understand
All the things I thought I knew, I'm learning again

I've been tryin' to get down to the heart of the matter
But my will gets weak and my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

These times are so uncertain
There's a yearning undefined
...people filled with rage
We all need a little tenderness
How can love survive in such a graceless age?
The trust and self-assurance that lead to happiness
They're the very things we kill, I guess

Pride and competition
Cannot fill these empty arms
And the work I put between us doesn't keep me warm

I'm learning to live without you now
But I miss you, baby
The more I know, the less I understand
All the things I thought I'd figured out
I have to learn again
I've been trying to get down to the heart of the matter
But everything changes and my friends seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness

Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

There are people in your life who've come and gone
They let you down and hurt your pride
Better put it all behind you; life goes on
You keep carryin' that anger, it'll eat you up inside

I've been tryin' to get down to the heart of the matter
But my will gets weak and my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

I've been tryin' to get down to the heart of the matter
Because the flesh will get weak and the ashes will scatter
So I'm thinkin' about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me

Monday, July 5, 2010

Monday, June 28, 2010

Thursday, April 1, 2010

YaY GOD

 

Every morning and Every night He paints the sky for us!
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Thursday, March 25, 2010

Sunday, March 14, 2010

on the raging sea

Lyrics to Raging Sea :
Sometimes the journey makes you weary
Feels like a long and winding road
Sometimes this life can lose it's meaning
But you might be surprised to find some hope
Maybe you're wondering where love is
You may feel it's far away from here
Maybe you're wondering where I am
You might be surprised to find I'm near

Chorus:
And when your life is tossed and turning
And you're on the raging sea
I'll come and pull you from the water
Then you will know that you are free


So if you're stumbling through the valley
Or if you're tempted to give up the fight
Reach out your hand and I will lead you
I will be your strong arm in the night

Friday, March 12, 2010

Newsboys New cd

http://newsboys.com/v09/radio_standalone.php

June

Thursday, March 11, 2010

I'll Be...

If you're sinking
If you're losing control
And your heartache has taken it's toll
If there's things you've never thought before
Like you're all alone
Afraid that love won't come home

You will find me
I'm at the point of your breaking
Behind all the noise
When your world is
Darkest I can still see
Cause when there's nothing left
I'll be

I'll be

Like a small town
Talk is getting around
Now that you've found
A friend can still bring you down

And when their faith in you comes crashing down
Know that I'm still yours
I'll be the hope that endures

You will find me
I'm at the point of your breaking
Behind all the noise
When your world is
Darkest I can still see
Cause when there's nothing left
I'll be

I'll be the light to help you find
All the things you left behind
Wondering will love come back
I'll be whispering you're still mine
When loneliness invades your mind
You're gonna be all right
You will find me
I'm at the point of your breaking
Behind all the noise

You will find me
I'm at the point of your breaking
Behind all the noise
When your world is
Darkest I can still see
Cause when there's nothing left, yeah
Cause when there's nothing left
I'll be

NEWSBOYS

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Artist: DecembeRadio


Album: DecembeRadio

Song: Drifter

I used to have a home, a place I started from, a place to call my own

bright lights and late nights, the devil took me on a midnight ride, left me out in the desert on my own

Now I feel alone

I need a hand to help me find my way back home

I'm a drifter out on a dead end road

trying to find my way back home to get to you, oh to get to you

lord I've been gone for far too long headed to places I don't belong

and I've got to get back home to you

sometimes I think about the past, the road that I was on, the one that lead me home

I'll walk on another day

I may wander but I never stray

cause I found out the hard way: sin don't pay

Now I feel alone

I need a hand to help me find my way back home

I'm a drifter out on a dead end road

trying to find my way back home to get to you, oh to get to you

lord I've been gone for far too long headed to places I don't belong

and I've got to get back home to you



and when I feel the night is closing in


and I can barely breathe the air


I just remember that I've got a friend


who really cares

oh who really cares

I'm a drifter out on a dead end road

trying to find my way back home to get to you, oh to get to you

lord I've been gone for far too long headed to places I don't belong

and I've got to get back home to you

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Really want to take the boys to this. Maybe Bri could come. maybe one or two of aaron's friends .

Monday, March 1, 2010

It's not me, It's you

Let's get the story straight


You were a poison
You flooded through my veins

You left me broken

You tried to make me think That the blame was all on me

With the pain you put me through

And now I know that it's not me it's you

It's not me it's you

Always has been you

All the lies and stupid things you say and do

It's you

It's not me it's you

All the lies and pain you put me through

I know that it's not me it's you
It's not me it's you, you

So here we go again
The same fight we're always in

I don't care so why pretend
Wake me when your lecture ends

You tried to make me small
Make me fall and it's all your fault

With the pain you put me through

And now I know that it's not me it's you

Let's get the story straight

You were a poison
Flooding through my veins

Driving me insane

And now you're gone away

I'm no longer choking
From the pain you put me through

And now I know that it's not me it's you

Friday, February 26, 2010

MercyMe _Bring the Rain_

I can count a million times

People asking me how I Can praise You with all that I've gone through

The question just amazes me

Can circumstances possibly Change who I forever am in You

Maybe since my life was changed Long before these rainy days

It's never really ever crossed my mind

To turn my back on you, oh Lord My only shelter from the storm

But instead I draw closer through these times

So I pray:
Bring me joy, bring me peace

Bring the chance to be free

Bring me anything that brings You glory

And I know there'll be days When this life brings me pain

But if that's what it takes to praise You Jesus, bring the rain

I am Yours regardless of The dark clouds that may loom above

Because You are much greater than my pain

You who made a way for me By suffering Your destiny

So tell me what's a little rain?

So I pray

Holy, holy, holy
Is the Lord God Almighty

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

1984 ~ Not the George Orwell, _Animal Farm_ 1984

Kevin and me July 1984

Feeling Nostalgic?

Not really feeling it, but here are some vintage photos. My parents and Leslie Ann.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Brianna ~ L@@K

Hey Bri,
Here is our new place. We have two bedrooms upstairs where you see Kyle on the balcony, also 3 rooms downstairs. I have a little amateur video i might post on youtube so you can see inside and some familiar items mixed in...Love, Mom
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the easiest prey - a captive unaware - Breaking Free

he has the amazing ability to always let me down



he'd get angry.


i must be incredibly dense it took me too long to realize he is an alcolholic


he'd throw things and he'd hit things and he'd hurt us


the whole time i tried to figure out


what was i doing to make him that way


what mistake did i make


how did i somehow hurt him to make him act that way.


now i have some distance from that madness


the one thing i can see now, that i couldn't see before.


it wasn't me, it was him.

it wasnt me, i was not the reason he would drink


i am not the reason he would get angry.


i am not the reason he would hurt me and hurt others




i was alright before


i will be alright again


every man has got his breaking point


the click he hears






i fear we're in the dark before the dawn.


before i heard the promises


long before this, i shook the Hand of Grace

Thursday, February 18, 2010

PROUDest Moment of my Life, so far!

My Lovely Daughter
graduated from Spring Arbor University with a degree in English.
Can't wait til she comes back from Japan.
Hope we get to spend some time together.
I need to make up for the last five years we weren't together.
and many times in our past when i was not the best companion.
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Monday, February 15, 2010

Old photos

I am so Thankful i have these. I never realized how valuable they would be when we got older. This is about 1970~
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boyer familie

 Kevin will be 50 in March. He is (obviously) the boy in the middle. His wife Laura wanted some old photos for a birthday bash for him. Wish i could be there.
Family photos for us are rare: we were all split up into different foster families.
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Sunday, February 14, 2010

Valentines Day!

No candy No flowers No cards No romantic dinner and a movie.
Just me and my boys.
Kyle is my valentine....i'm pretty sure he made one for me,
 hopefully he will remember to give it to me.

No new job: had a chance for another job.
thought i had it right up until the background/credit check.
old credit card defaults are probably going to prevent them from wanting to hire me.
how am i supposed to pay billls if they use your credit history against you?

Friday, February 12, 2010

No idea

i have no idea where he is. most days here he would sit and watch tv. some days in a bathrobe over his clothes.
 he went to church, but refused to become involved. the dichotomy between christianity and depravity was confusing and sometimes scary. 
he rarely showered or shaved nor brushed his teeth... sounds like depression to me.
he would walk around the area picking up cans to recycle  to buy cigarettes. didn't want to ask for cig money - i would have been more appreciative if can money went to something useful instead of cancer sticks.
every once in while he cooked for us, mostly just for himself. some dishes were washed.
then he began buying alcohol again.
 waiting for a check in the mail..
.talked about past, politics, paparazzi.
didn't do the things you would expect a man to do. wants to be respected for past accomplishments and for being a 47 year old male.
 has no idea how to maintain trust and affection.  ignores the people who love him most. almost always charming to outsiders.
has burnt most bridges and fiddled while they burned.
then he began buying alcohol again. waiting for a check in the mail...

Thursday, February 11, 2010

shackled by regret for lost time, lost love,

5 years gone, with no future together. Loss of expectations, hopes, dreams... walked away from a marriage and a home, a father and provider. walked into resentment, instability, depression, violence, anger, jealousy, alcoholism ("alcohol makes me feel better than you do" he said once). perversion, degradation, neglect. devoted his time and charms to other women. ..wanted to see what turned them on, what they would tell him or show him.

Monday, February 8, 2010

11/26/2009



theres no doubt in my mind that this email is not going to be quite what you were expecting none the less...

ever since you called me i have had this sense of fear come over me,

a very uneasy feeling that i havent felt in a very long time, nor do i care to have now or ever again.

you call me , tell me how much you love me, how you never stopped loving me , and how your coming here and going to marry me !? like i told you on the phone YOU ARE NOT MARRYING ME, and YOU ARE NOT COMING HERE ! to go one further.... I DO NOT WANT YOU TO CALL ME EITHER !

i remember all to well what its like to be pam , lets not forget the many times you cheated on me. you tell me how she has a way to know who you call and what you do online ? that just tells me you have given her good cause to not trust you either. thats no surprise to me....been there, done that, and i have no intentions of going there and doing that again !

you tell me that your expecting your back pay from disability-" so i wont be coming there with nothing" to quote you. my guess is she is the one whos been supporting you, so when you get your money your just goint to pick a fight and leave.

dean- YOU ARE NOT COMING HERE ! I AM NOT IN LOVE WITH YOU, I AM NOT INFATUATED WITH YOU, I AM NOT GOING TO SLEEP WITH YOU OR LIVE WITH YOU AND I AM NOT GOING TO MARRY YOU !

so- youll have to search your ex girlfreinds past to find someone else to tell your stories , tales and lies to. as for me i honestly have no desire to as much to hear your voice- let alone live in that hell ever again.



i have somebody in my life which is why im selling my home, so is he, and together we are going to build our home together. he is a good man, works hard, loves better, he has never raised a hand or his voice to me or my children. he has been a wonderful father to my children and my grandchildren.



i dont hate , i just dont want you in my life.

good bye ,

UNSHACKLED

The Fellowship Fund filled up his tank and a gas can. Through L>W., they bought him a few cigars and sent him on his way with some cash....to Greenville, maybe that's apropos, considering his last name.